Legalizing Gay marriage nationally - a poetic approach

It's taken me a couple of days and a lot of surfing to more fully appreciate the Langston Hughes poem "Democracy".

After going to several hate sites (Google "fudge packers", "liberal fucking homo fags", "voters for Kerry" if you don't believe me!), or other gay-friendly sites where hate rhetoric hemorrhages out of control (http://www.gayamerican.org/archives/000163.html), I wonder what their argument is, what logic they use, what rationale they have for wanting me and other gays and lesbians dead, voiceless, and excommunicated from "their" self-governmental experiment call the American experience.

And I look to Langston Hughes. Funny, a fag should turn to poetry when reflecting and searching.

Democracy will not come
Today, this year
Nor ever
Through compromise and fear.

But isn't this democracy? 1 a : government by the people; especially : rule of the majority. What do we want from democracy? What does it give us?

Can we say democracy should give us the best free society for the largest number of citizens? And if we're only a democracy, do the warm, fuzzy ideals of freedom, independence, and the mythological American Dream really matter - or are they supposed to be direct products or by-products of the democratic experience?

And if this is not what we want to define as the goals democracy, then what are? What is a better, more noble goal for a democratic society?

Assuming the best society for largest number of citizens is the answer, how would we define a world where I do not have the same rights - simply for existing as I was born - as another citizen? Or, what are the trade-offs for my equal rights, should they need to be withheld for the rights of a larger group?

Granting me my rights, legally under the Constitution, I argue, is not taking away any of the rights and privileges afforded others. It merely makes me equal.

Hughes posits democracy, as I've defined it, will not come through compromise and fear.

What is the compromise? Compromise from the haters' POV is that we are allowed to live. Liberty and the pursuit of happiness are not part of their equation - or only some part of that equation. Compromise from my POV is that we have to move to Massachusetts, Canada, Spain or the Netherlands to get married. We must go to Connecticut or Vermont to get a civil union. But, we are treated legally as separate but not equal. Neither compromise is acceptable for me.

What is the fear? Their fear, although I cannot claim to understand fully (and disregarding the Biblical chatter), is based in a fear of lawlessness, sodomy-on-demand, devaluing traditional marriage, and destroying our culture for the children. I don't know of any facts or figures which show that gay marriage - granted through democracy - will foster and actualize a culture made up of those fears. And, look around: those fears are real now! The Bush family and Administration, literally or metaphorically, embody all of those plagues on society. If you're questioning my logical leap to the Bush Administration fostering sodomy-on-demand, ask Jeff Gannon about Enron. Literally and figuratively. Their fear is unfounded.

What is fear from my POV? I want to have a normal, decent family. Just like anyone else. No more, no less. And adoption is a good thing. I know that if we, homos and others, do not stand up and insist upon these rights, that I and people like me, will not be equal under this system. And when people in the right are marginalized in a democracy, their voices get louder. I fear more violence against homosexuals. I fear despair. Neither answer is acceptable.

I have as much right
As the other fellow has
To stand
On my two feet
And own the land.

This was written by a black writer, presumably about the black American experience. I agree with him about his claim to this right, and many, not all, of those rights have been granted and accepted by America. This right I claim for myself, as well. There is, however, a subtle difference: discrimination and withholding of rights against others has generally been readily detectable; race, gender, religious, ethnicity, disability, etc. They will say that gays and lesbians have to act upon who they are in order to be discriminated against. We must either be caught in the act (which is generally impossible - and morally reprehensible if you want to try), or we must be out of the closet. They would argue that it is the sin and not the sinner, the "don't tell" half of the equation that makes us worthy of discrimination. The legal mistreatment of others is an historical embarrassment and a blemish on the American record of freedom. Why should we accept this for the millions of American homosexuals? Why should we be forced to lie about our true identity in a democracy?

I tire so of hearing people say,
Let things take their course.
Tomorrow is another day.
I do not need my freedom when I'm dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow's bread.

I, too, tire of hearing the same so-called consolation from those who have not fully committed to realizing a true American democracy. These are the words of compromise, and usually delivered in a positive, affirming tone. About the same time i seriously considered sharing my life with the man I love, I decided that this compromise no longer works for the American me. 15 years ago, as a questioning teen, it never would have occurred to me that I would ever need to come to the realization that I would want to share in the same rights as the rest of America. I did not have these strong feelings 10 years ago, when I assumed the politics of the argument might be resolved by the time I wanted to share in the same rights. I know want to know that husband, father, widower could, some day, apply to me. Democracy is the means by which I must fight to make that freedom mine.

Freedom
Is a strong seed
Planted
In a great need.

Americans have seen how strong freedom is. Hughes, by claiming freedom is a seed, encourages us to consider freedom the basis of our society - our democracy. We have long held that the warm fuzzies usually associated with democracy - freedom, independence, personal responsibility and opportunity - will fluorish in and create a better society. We claim it for ourselves and for those other societies throughout the world we encourage to embark down the democratic path. That will be, and has been, the legacy of the American experience.

But great needs remain. Providing equality for all has always been a difficult adjustment; of mind, heart, culture and law. However, upon achieving a more perfect union, we will come to understand the true beauty and power of the force of democracy in addressing the remaining needs of our world. Anything less is a hypocritical, pseudo-freedom revealing itself, ultimately, as an ignorant and belligerent facade of an obstacle to true freedom.

I live here, too.
I want freedom
Just as you.