A simple birthday wish -

I really wanna get married.

Today I turn 33. I'm the oldest single member of my family. All of my siblings (6 - yes, a large, European Catholic family) were married by the time they were 33. Some more than once. I have a niece who is married and a nephew who is already a father.

My boyfriend - and even that title is stupid, now - and I have been together almost 3 years. We have been through enough thick-n-thin to know we're ready to make this a permanent bond. I've had enough of the hedonistic years and have settled into a career and a quieter, calmer, responsible outlook on life.

Sure, I can still be pretty crazy and have an extra martini when I probably shouldn't. However, gone are the days of the up-til-dawn pukefests and the never-say-die running on empty.

Pretty typical maturation, no? I've lived relatively hard - in a sorta sheltered, type-A, middle class way. No - I've not done lines of blow off a go-go boy's pecker, but I've seen the inside of a bathhouse. I've never been arrested, went to college and grad school, worked my ass off in a couple of world-class "Tool-of-the-Man" factory-style cube farms, but I've also qualified for food stamps and have essentially lived out of my car at times. My credit rating is not perfect. Generally, the basic ups-and-downs of a standard American - depending on your perspective. I'm gonna guess pretty average.

Now, however, I'm doing what I've always wanted to do to make a living. I never want to have to retire. I've planned to be at this point for several (10+) years, and I've worked hard to get here. I have reason to give thanks. I've been lucky and blessed. I have a wonderful family and am surrounded by wonderful people who have their heads screwed on straight.

So - what's my fucking problem?

I am single. I want to marry my man.

This isn't a self-centered, insecure plea on my part. Everyone else just gets to up-n-marry whenever the fuck they want. Twice. Shotgun. Vegas. Whatever. Thrice. Annulled. Divorced. Re-married. Whatever.

And that's just in my family. And the Kennedys and Britney Spears.

At this point, politically, socially, culturally, financially - on any level - I will never be an equal.

Husband. Father. We will never be widowers. We will never be divorced. We won't ever be able to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Renew our vows on our 50th at the church. Mourn my husband's death. Be invited to Grandparent's Day at the school. File taxes jointly. Pull the plug. Inherit and bestow.

Equally.

Some people are born like me. Some people choose to be like me. Some like me bitch and moan about how they wouldn't want that "straight" institution of marriage foisted upon their fabulously freaky lifestyle in the first place. Some would rather condemn me to hell for that lifestyle in lieu of marriage.

And all I want is fair and equal under the laws of our state.

Period. That's the answer. No discussion. No qualifiers.

All men are created equal. This is, first and foremost, what we believe.

Equality.