DearMary.com

I know several people who claim that the hatred of gays isn't really that bad. That it's not really prevalent in America. That it's not so bad unless "gayness" is flaunted. That it's not so bad, unless they see me holding my boyfriend's hand. That it's not so bad, as long as they don't catch us stealing a peck on the cheek. That it's not so bad in a really dark closet, lying to ourselves and everyone we know.

I particularly enjoy speaking with the people who claim that we generally can, legally, secure many of the same legal rights married couples are entitled to just by seeing an attorney. Separate is not equal, I say. We've tried that.

I also like those who are afraid of losing the word "marriage". Keep marriage in your churches, I say. Make all unions civil. Keep marriage religious. Simple answer.

I love to hear that it'll take time, too. A cultural sea-change this big needs time to sit with the people and let them get used to the idea. To respond to that, I refer to the Langston Hughes poem. He says it well.

But all of these well-meaning and decent avoidance tactics are complete bullshit. They're some fucking polite polishing of the general undercurrent of hatred, ignorance, fear and bigotry that permeates this discussion and fuels the fire from my side. And serves as the bedrock for the real, practical discriminatory acts, violence and protests from their side.

And that truth bubbles to the surface and spews like an acidic torrent of hate and death wishes as exemplified on the page of posts to DearMary.com.

http://dearmary.com/fob.html

These are the words of Americans, presumably, who are educated enough to get onto the internet and find their way to a gay-based political-activist/spoof website. Evidently, they were looking for, heard about or stumbled upon DearMary.com. Then they felt secure enough in their convictions and anonymity to spew some hatred.

And, I suppose, they don't seem to give a damn that the hypocrisy is the issue.

Opposition to gay marriage is totally hypocritical, from a religio-fascist Christian morality basis (how WOULD Jesus treat us?), a political basis (why DID Washington free his slaves and Jefferson FUCK his if we all aren't created equal?), and a social basis (how DOES this hurt your marriage, your kids or the fabric of society?).

These posts are genuine, pure bile. Even the nicer/more rational ones. And all of these people took the time to leave a note. Imagine how they voted if their beliefs are this strong and they had the anonymity of the ballot box.

We are a racist, bigoted conservative society. And lucky for those who cannot hide who they are that we have overcome - at least legally - most of the sins of our forefathers. For those of us who are discriminated against based on traits that must be revealed or exhibited, we have a long way to go.

The anonymity I found in the closet of lies, deception, hypocrisy and self-loathing is no more. And I am better and stronger for abandoning it.

I wish all Americans the same. We have a lot more to do as a society than to worry about this. Let's evolve together and move on.