For fear of pissing off all you ex-gays out there.

Do ex-gays really exist?

One of my close friends, the Rev. Donald E. Wildmon, from the American Fascist Association (AFA) thinks I can be cured if I just watch the video. And pray.

Poof! Like that, no longer a poof!

And totally ignore who I was born as and who I am. I remember checking out wee-wees at the pool when I was 4. This totally predates Star Wars, my fascination with Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly, and jazz, beautiful gardens and the Expressionists. And Bernadette Peters. And Cher. And Madonna. And Sondheim. And Sex and the City. And Will and Grace. And Shakespeare. History. Theater. Storytelling. Life. Education. Honesty. Faith. Respect.

You get the point. I never made the choice to enjoy, follow, study, participate in any of these things. My predilections are natural, and always have been - no matter how many basketball, soccer, football and track teams I played for in my youth. No matter how much I felt that my priest and I had in common. No matter how long I struggled with who I am. No matter how hard it was to accept that for myself. Coming out and telling family and friends was nothing compared to that level of understanding and acceptance.

And, dammit, I wouldn't be so loud and obnoxious about being gay if there weren't so many bigoted, ignorant fucks in this world trying to fuck up my mood all the time. And openly discriminating against me and my people. And legally holding me as less than a complete and full citizen under the Constitution.

Because they vote and claim to have a legitimate voice in this discussion. And they claim to be the victim in this world. They claim it's for the children. They claim it's for the betterment of the culture. They claim it's not Christian.

I claim it's because they live in fear of that day when they're slung up in a sling and gang poked by the football team. They dream it and they want it. Ever notice how many people who are OK with homosexuality are sorta the quiet types, perpetually caught in this tug-of-war between the real victims and the fucking idiots who don't have the spine or the sense to raise their own GD breeder offspring as decent, civilized respectful breeders?

If it's true that I chose to be gay, I want to see your journal entries where you struggled with heterosexuality. I want to see the attempted suicides, the psychological treatment receipt stubs, I want to see the tear-stained pillows. I want to see the claw marks in your straight closet door.

Then I want you offered up to the football team. I want to video it. Then, I'll sell it as your choice to be formerly straight.

And, Rev. Dr. Whatever-you-call-yourself to lend some sort of legitimacy to your offensive, bigoted idiot fuck mindset and lifestyle Wildmon, you better get to the gym. I don't want no toady, flabby gross fuck like you in my sling. Understand, bitch?